Christmas!!

Still kickin. Moved to a new city after an extensive road trip. Starting a new job after Christmas. Getting married in March. Still on 20mg of Paxil, but thinking I might up it someday. I usually feel like it’s barely enough. Like instead of comfortably having my shit together, I have it together for now and am about to snap at any moment. And I do. The amount of life I can handle at any given time seems to be minimal. But at the same time between my future wife being there for me and finally getting out of the Arctic, I’m doing soooooo much better than I was. It’s December 23rd and we’re at her parents for Christmas and even though I’m the new guy it still feels like I’m in the right place and not just shoved into another families house at Christmas. Decorated the tree yesterday and everything.

The fact that life is going good in sooooo many areas and I still feel like I definitely need the medication makes me realize I made the right choice. Oh and I got blood pressure medication as well. Cut my blood pressure in half. Realistically he blood pressure was probably more important to deal with than the depression, but I couldn’t care about my blood pressure til I worked on the depression.

Have a merry Christmas anyone who’s reading this!